These funny 60th birthday quotes will give any birthday guy or gal a good giggle on their special day. I'd be part of Texas folklore. Texas literally has a pledge they say every morning. State historic sites include the Casa Navarro in San Antonio, Texas. They work to live there. Robert Rodriguez (this is one of our favorite Austin quotes! Texan til I die need no translation, right. John Lennon 2. May your birthday be as beautiful as your soul is lovely. It moves into you. The Lone Star State is full of character, and so are these Texas quotes. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. History Fangirl is a participant in the Amazon Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. I think you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. Idina Menzel, For all its enormous range of space, climate, and physical appearance, and for all the internal squabbles, contentions, and strivings, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. John Steinbeck, Texans ignored better, long ago forgot the useless word good. Everything in Texas is best. Edward Smith, Never forget, son, when you represent Texas, always go first class.- James Michener, A born Texan has instilled in his system a mindset of no retreat and no surrender. So whether youre looking for travel inspiration or Texas Instagram captions or Facebook statuses, here are my favorite Texas quotes! Anybody got a room? -Keith Richards, People dont live in Austin to work, they work to live there. -Robert Rodriguez, During the cold war, West Berlin was an exclave a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who want to crush it. This aint my first rodeo. when youre really experienced at something! The Lone Star State has inspired some truly beautiful travel quotes. -Senator William Blakley, Ill be somewhere down in Texas if youre lookin for me. You cant share Texas quotes without sharing Texans quotes, right? "The way I see it, you should live every day like it's your birthday." Paris Hilton "A birth-date is a reminder to celebrate the life as well as to update the life." Amit Kalantri "Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come." Lucy Larcom "Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed." -Sam Houston, Thats the thing about East Texas. Leave them blank to get signed up. Texas is a blend of valor and swagger. Carl Sandburg, Texas history is as varied, tempestuous, and vast as the state itself. Above all, Texas is a nation in every sense of the word. John Steinbeck, If a mans from Texas, hell tell you. Even if theyre not American, people know about Texas. One day, behind a general store in Central Texas, a firearms instructor in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat reached for the butt of his holster as I approached him for an interview. Happy birthday! (A hangover. Here are my favorite quotes about Texas, including inspiration from poems, literature, pop culture, and quotes by famous Texas authors! All of us are joining in to say, that may the year which your birthday begins, brings all the special things, that mean the most to you. In tall cotton.Running with the big dogs.He didnt come to town two to a mule.Shes got more than she can say grace over.So rich they can eat fried chicken all week long.Rich enough to eat her laying hens. Showing search results for "Texas Birthday" sorted by relevance. Happy Birthday to you. You dont just move into Texas. Shes got a bun in the oven.Shes sitting on the nest.Shes got one in the chute.Shes been storked. -Carl Sandburg, Texas is like a beckoning star to American settlers. She could start a fight in an empty house.Hed argue with a wooden Indian.She raised hell and stuck a chunk under it.Hes the only hell his mama ever raised.Hes got his tail up.Shes in a horn-tossing mood.Shes so contrary she floats up-stream.Shes dancing in the hog trough.Hell tell you how the cow ate the cabbage. Red dirt never quite washes out, and pine pollen is tenacious as original sin. 17 Fabulous Midwest Tourist Attractions You Need to See, How to Visit Camel Rock: A Popular Santa Fe Roadside Attraction Near Tesque, NM, 10 Places with Ancient Polygonal Walls Around the World that You Can Visit, How to Visit Playa Negra, Puerto Rico: Viequess Beautiful Black Sand Beach. Editors note: This article was first published in print in 1994. It means you're no fool. This is really true, this is what happened to us. For all the smiles you put on my face and the people around. 2) Forget the present, I didn't get you one. Above all, Texasis a nation in every sense of the word. And there's an opening convey of generalities. Singers Jessica Simpson, Beyonce, Hillary Duff, Kelly Clarkson and Demi Lovato are a few famous faces who hail from Texas. Unknown 118 Likes Birthday quotes Friends quotes Yippee your birthday is finally here. There is a world of country to settle. Discover Texan cities, small towns, and outdoor attractions. Here are 10 Texas Slang Words To Sound Like A Local. Preaching to the choir.Burning daylight.Arguing with a wooden Indian.Whistling up the wind.Hollering down a well. "Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me a lot of myself from one fabulous chick to another!". I'm so glad you never act your agelet's have some fun tonight! Top Nashville Sayings for Instagram. Sweeter than stolen honey.Sweeter than babys breath.Sweeter than an old maids dream.He took to you like a hog to persimmons.He took to you like a fish to water.Happy as a boardinghouse pup.Happy as a clam at high tide.Happy as a hog in mud.Safe as Grannys snuffbox.Fair to middling.Pert as a cricket.Soft as a two-minute egg.All wool and a yard wide.Im cooking on a front burner today.If I felt any better, Id drop my harp plumb through the cloud.If I felt any better, Id think it was a setup.Fat and sassy.All sweetness and light.This is so good itll make childbirth a pleasure.Fine as frog fur.Fine as dollar cotton.Fine as boomtown silk.Fine as cream gravy.The porch light is always burning.Long as I got a biscuit, you got half. But what the hell? Get ready for your Birthday prank today as well. As welcome as an egg-sucking dog.As welcome as an outhouse breeze.As welcome as screwworm.As welcome as a porcupine at a nudist colony.As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.As welcome as a wet shoe.As welcome as a tornado on a trail drive. Happy birthday. Courtney Bond is an executive editor of Texas Monthlys Food & Drink and BBQ sections. If you do use one, Id love if you linked or tagged me so I can enjoy your work! 10. It's a better use of salt. Happy Birthday to you! It was like Austin, Texas. Craig Ferguson, Texas is neither southern nor western. The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. You know exactly what you're doing. Austin, Texas is the subject of many popular quotes, sayings, and slogans! Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen.". So dry the catfish are carrying canteens. Then when you think in years to come. Anybody who wanders around the world saying, Hell yes, Im from Texas, deserves whatever happens to him. Hunter S. Thompson, the journalist, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. Related PostsThe 7 Regions of TexasThings to Know before you go to Texas70+ Interesting and Fun Facts about Texas. This ain't my first rodeo. Emily McCullar is a senior editor covering pop culture, news, and Texas history. Happy birthday! Texas is Texas -Senator William Blakley, You may all go to Hell, and I will go to Texas Davy Crockett, Texas will again lift its head and stand among the nations. What: Navasota is throwing a Texas-sized two-day birthday party. I have been a paying customer ofWorld Nomadsfor travel insurance for three years, and I happily recommend them. If you are too, check out this massive guide to250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions, plus: TheLonely Planet Texasguidebook. Above all, Texas is a nation in every sense of the word. Indeed, it's the friendliest way to say "Happy Birthday.". They don't treat beatniks too good in Texas. From the deserts of West Texas to the beautiful Gulf Coast beaches, there is immense beauty in Texas that continues to provide inspiration to visitors and tourists. Bernard M. Baruch Here are 30 famous birthday quotes for your friends and loved ones: Live long and prosper. thats the Texas spirit! - E. It may be your birthday, but you are a gift to me. Texas is Texas. William Blakely, People dont live in Austin to work. On the final day of the '86 show, the State Fair of Texas celebrated its 100th birthday (f.y.i. -Texas Department of Transportation. -Willie Nelson, There is a growing feeling that perhaps Texas is really another country, a place where the skies, the disasters, the diamonds, the politicians, the women, the fortunes, the football players, and the murders are all bigger than anywhere else. More pills but more thrills. Hes been saucered and blowed.He sure cleaned your plow. Raised on concrete.Doesnt know a bit from a butt.You dont live longer in the city; it just seems that way. I Wish you a very Happy Birthday. If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? John Gunther. Download high quality Texas clip art graphics. Dream big and make them true, so that one-day people get inspired by your sheer guts. On this day, an amazing person came into the world. When: March 4-5. Its especially important to get travel insurance if youll be hanging out in cities like Dallas or San Antonio where tourists can easily become the targets of pickpockets. I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. Whether quotes about its wide, starry skies or sayings about its rough way of life, Texas has a way of staying on your mind. Got any more Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, or slogans you like? Dreams are the only things that give you reasons to push yourself ahead. Bright as a new penny.Smart as a hooty owl.No flies on my mama.Smart as a whip. Texas has various symbols such as the Bluebonnet (state flower), the Northern Mockingbird (state bird), and the horned lizard (state reptile). 2. "Pleas'd to look forward, pleas'd to look behind, and count each birthday with a grateful mind." - Alexander Pope. this is one of the funniest Texas expressions! It's your birthday! It would be an honor to get dismembered by a chainsaw. I was going to get you a present, but I figured my presence was enough of a gift. Lets light a shuck.Its time to heat up the bricks.Its time to put the chairs in the wagon.Its time to swap spit and hit the road.Its time to put out the fire and call in the dogs.Hes heading for the wagon yard.Lets blow this pop stand.That about puts the rag on the bush.Church is out.Thats all she wrote. Waco: American Apocalypse Doesnt Even Try. Wishing you a wonderful time ahead. 2. Shes itching for something she wont scratch for. for dreaming for something too big! Today will be another one of those happy, beautiful, fun, and funny nights because we will celebrate the birthday of one of the best people that exists. I always like to pick mine up ahead of time. Want to plan your Texas road trip in a few easy steps? I love Texas too well to bring civil strife and bloodshed upon her. You are such a sweetheart babe! The festival includes live performances from Texas artists like Aaron Watson, the Josh Abbott Band, Kyle Park and more. It was like Austin, Texas. Craig Ferguson, Read More: 25 Famous Quotes about Austin, Texas. knee walking drunk to tell your friends about that epic night of partying. honest. ". It proclaims them. 1. "In Texas, there is a certain honor of being a Texan that is doing something the best that you can." - Matthew McConaughey. Happy 70th birthday! "Never forget, son, when you represent Texas, always go first class."- James Michener "A born Texan has instilled in his system a mindset of no retreat and no surrender. Lauren Larson is a former features writer and editor. On your birthday, I just want to remind you that you are the best person I have ever met in my whole life. We share comprehensive travel guides and tips for anyone traveling around America. "Don't just count your years, make your years count.". Hes overdrawn at the memory bank. Scarce as hens teeth.Scarce as grass around a hog trough.Scarce as rain barrels. Texas yesterday is unbelievable, but no more incredible than Texas today. And once again we wish you. I love the fact that Texas is so big, but you dont feel small because of that. We hope you liked our quotes on Texas. Yippee your birthday is finally here. Pin these Texas Quotes & Texas Instagram Captions for Your Trip! A smart ass just don't fit in a saddle. Today is the most important day of my life. Curtis Jackson, aka 50 Cent Funny Birthday Quotes. Fat as a boardinghouse cat.Fat as a town dog.Shes warm in winter, shady in summer.He dont care what you call him as long as you call him to supper.So big he looks like he ate his brother.So big he has to sit down in shifts.Big as Brewster County.Big as Dallas.Big as a Brahma bull.Shed rather shake than rattle.Hes big enough to bear hunt with a branch.Hes all spread out like a cold supper.Wide as two ax handles.Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. Texas is an obsession. Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. -Jensen Ackles, Theres no better place than Texas to start over. John Connelly, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. Kelly Clarkson, I truly think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world. Tommy Tune, You can take the girl out of Texas, but not Texas out of the girl. Janine Turner. Oct 2, 2014 - Explore rosa hernandez's board "Texas birthday greetings" on Pinterest. It was the home of Tejano patriot Jose Antonio Navarro, who was influential in the fight for Texas' independence. As the old saying goes. Noisy as two skeletons dancing on a tin roof.Noisy as a restless mule in a tin barn.Noisier than cats making kittens.Noisier than a cornhusk mattress.Louder than Grandpas Sunday tie.He called his hogs all night. hes crazy. Happy birthday." In three days, no one could stand him. Joseph Heller, I felt a little guilty about jangling the poor buggers brains with that evil fantasy. Happy Birthday To Me Quotes. Dan Rather 0 Copy To me, it's really the heart of Texas. 500 matching entries found. As welcome as a porcupine at a nudist colony. -Rosemary Kent, Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention. Im madder than a wet hen! The Lone Star State is a unique place. Backup Charging Bankfor your cell phone since youll be using it as a camera, GPS system, and general travel genie. Hes so busy youd think he was twins.Theyre doing a land-office business.Busy as a one-legged man at an ass-kicking convention.Busy as a funeral home fan in July.Busy as a one-eyed dog in a smokehouse.Busy as a one-armed paperhanger.Busy as a stump-tailed bull in fly season.Busy as a hound in flea season.Got to slop the hogs, dig the well, and plow the south forty before breakfast.Got to get back to my rat killing.Shes jumping like hot grease (or water) on a skillet.Panting like a lizard on a hot rock.No grass growing under her feet. "You May All Go to Hell and I Will Go to Texas" Davy Crockett This quote truly epitomizes the spirit of Texas. Someone doesn't merely dieshe opens herself up a worm farm. I Had to Fight My Way Up" - Patrick Swayze Long live the dirty dancing Patrick Swayze! Read the sites full Privacy & Disclosure policy here. 3. He wasnt born, just squeezed out of a bartenders rag.Drunker than who shot John.Snot-slinging drunk.Drunk as Cooter Brown.Drunk as a skunk.Dont chop any wood tonight; Daddys coming home with a load.Tighter than bark on a log.Ive got the whistlebelly thumps and skull cramps. When compared with all the other happy birthday quotes, this one is especially unique. Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. No place like Texas, my home, sweet home. Willie Nelson, And finally, the last and the best Texas quote yet. Your advancement in years is a progression into the plans and purpose of God for you. Planning to Visit Texas? Voltaire It takes a long time to become young. The Texanist: Contemplating the Texas Exit. Don't mess with Texas. Shy as a mail-order bride.Shy as a crocus.Shy as sapphires. Comedian Jim Gaffigan's funny birthday quote is the ideal way to wish a loved one a happy birthday. Some sayings are instantly familiar because our parents or grandparents quoted them; others parallel the indisputable wisdom of biblical proverbs or Poor Richards Almanac; plenty just make us laugh. Confused as a goat on AstroTurf.My tongue got caught in my eyeteeth and I couldnt see what I was saying.I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you.He ran em around the barn.Cattywampus to Miss Joness. Hey'It's your 60th birthday!' All cut up like a boardinghouse pit.Grinning like a mule eating cockleburs.Nervous as a pregnant jenny.Nervous as a fly in the glue pot.Nervous as a woodshed waiter.Shes chewing her bit. - Jim Gaffigan. I feel lower than a gopher hole.I feel so low I couldnt jump off a dime.She eats sorrow by the spoonful.You look like you were sent for and couldnt go.Sad enough to bring a tear to a glass eye.He looks like the cheese fell off his cracker. Alexander McCall Smith, Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. Cake-check, candles-check, party caps-check, the birthday person-CHECK! Buzzard bait.He gave up his guitar for a harp.He ate a bitter pill. He could fall up a tree.Couldnt ride a nightmare without falling out of bed.He couldnt knock a hole in the wind with a sackful of hammers.So bad at farming he couldnt raise Cain.He couldnt hit the floor if he fell out of bed.Handy as hip pockets on a hog.Worthless as teats on a bull.Worthless as a sidesaddle on a sow.Not worth spit.He couldnt organize a pissing contest in a brewery.Useless as two buggies in a one-horse town.He could screw up a two-car funeral.Tie a quarter to it and throw it away, and you can say you lost something.Hes got no more chance than a June bug in the chicken coop.Hes a day late and a dollar short.He cant win for losing.Hes sucking hind teat.I need that like a tomcat needs a trousseau.Shes itching for something she wont scratch for.Why close the barn door after the horses are out?No more good than an eyeless needle.Like warming up leftover snow.Like pushing a wheelbarrow with rope handles.Like sweet-talking the water out of the well. So crooked that if he swallowed a nail, hed spit up a corkscrew. This is an all-out tantrum with hollerin', feet stompin' the works. Texas is an obsession. Texas is a blend of valor and swagger ~Carl Sandburg, There wouldnt be no Alamo, No Cowboys in the Superbowl No Lonesome Dove, no Yellow Rose, If it wasnt for Texas. George Strait, Im so shook. -Lindsay McElwee, Texaswas evidently the only place in the known universe, including Louisiana, that actually got hotter after the sun went down. Dumb as a box of rocks. Celebrate one more turn around the sun with the collection of quotes about birthdays below. To me old age is 15 years older than I am. So dry the birds are building their nests out of barbed wire.So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.So dry the trees are bribing the dogs.So dry my duck dont know how to swim.Its been dry so long, we only got a quarter-inch of rain during Noahs Flood.So dry Im spitting cotton.Dry as a powder house.Dry as the heart of a haystack.Drier than a popcorn fart. Her Skill 1 Trading Post buff is one of the highest in the game when paired with Lappland. I wouldnt trust him any farther than I could throw him. I'm so thankful you're in my life, and I hope you have a very special birthday! Count your age by friends, not years. May god pour all his love and warmth on you. After all, by the time they've turned 60, most people can take a good senior joke or two. -Sam Houston, Im from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because theres no one in control. - By Jim Bishop. I pay forWorld Nomads,and I happily recommend them. READ MORE. Shes frying size.Hes knee-high to a grasshopper.Hed have to stand up to look a rattler in the eye.About as big as the little end of nothing.Half as big as a minute.No bigger than moles on a chigger.Scrawny as Ace Reid cattle.Nothing between the horns and hooves but hide.Thin as a bars ear.Thin as a gnats whisker.Thin as store-bought thread.Thin as Depression soup.Thin as a fiddle string.Thin as a rake and twice as sexy.Flat as a fritter.Scarce-hipped.So skinny she has to stand twice to make a shadow.So skinny you could give her a Big Red and use her as a thermometer.So skinny she shades herself under the clothesline. Have a wonderful birthday. -Kelly Clarkson, Sectional football games have the glory and the despair of war, and when a Texas team takes the field against a foreign state, it is an army with banners. And memories to store. A Texan outside of Texas is a foreigner.". Drop them in the comments below! When the passions have relaxed their hold, you may have escaped, not from one master but from many." Pope John XXIII: "Men are like wine. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. My current favorite is thePacsafe Citysafe, which is especially great for Texas because it has many anti-theft features designed to deter pickpockets in Texas cities. )Calling for Earl. Two tips on your birthday: 1) Forget the past, you can't change it. Its our favorite Texas saying, yall. Y'all is the southern contraction of you all, and it's meant to be used for when you're addressing more than one person. If you get sick, injured, or have your stuff stolen, youll be happy to have the ability to pay for your medical bills or replace whats stolen or broken. You don't know the Lone Star State until you've experienced Gruene Hall. Congratulations on surviving another year on this planet. I love Texas because Texas is future-oriented because Texans think anything is possible. 2. Hes got a hitch in his gitalong.Sick as a dog passing peach pits.All stove up.Im so sick Id have to get better to die.Sore as a boil.Her hoppers busted.As full of pains as an old window.Ive got the green apple nasties.He looks like death warmed over.So sick he needs two beds.Pitiful as a three-legged dog. The Alamo is a great story of brave people who chose to fight, knowing there was no hope of success against overwhelming odds. Robert Kiyosaki, What you northerners never appreciate is that Texas is so big that you can live your life within its limits and never give a damn about what anyone in Boston or San Francisco thinks. James Michener, There is a growing feeling that perhaps Texas is really another country, a place where the skies, the disasters, the diamonds, the politicians, the women, the fortunes, the football players, and the murders are all bigger than anywhere else. Pete Hamill, In the covered wagon days, if a baby was born in Texarkana while the family was crossing into the Lone Star State, by the time they reached El Paso, the baby would be in the third grade. Wallace O. Chariton, Theres a vastness here and I believe that the people who are born here breathe that vastness into their soul. What to make of a state that is so focused on itself? I just love you too much. She is a strong Vanguard worth E2ing eventually for the gameplay gains as well. He could talk the legs off a chair. You were too hard to raise to take chances.Dont dig up more snakes than you can kill.Whistle before you walk into a strangers camp.Dont plow too close to the cotton.A dead snake can still bite.A dead bee can still sting.Dont tip over the outhouse. The 80 Cute quotes for her; The 60 Best Get Well Soon Quotes For Him or Her. Look what the cat dragged in.Companys coming; add a cup of water to the soup.Weve howdied but we havent shook.Put on your sitting britches.Lets chaw the rag. It moves into you. ~Manny Fernandez. Individually they may be pretty, but put together, they can stop traffic. Cathy Bonner, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. Sam Houston. George Meredith on counting your years. Every year on your bday, you get a chance to start new. Related Topics.