Both parties have to be open-minded, willing to compromise, and strong enough to stand up for each other in face of any social or cultural pressure. Are you going to eat all the food, fatty? yeah im an egyptian girl but i was born&raised in kuwaitwhen i came to egypt first time i was pretty much chocked by all that stuff.now im 24 years old and the only question i hear is :when you will get married? hayati "my life" . 7abibi - 7abibti ( - ): This is the most common term of endearment right across the Arabic-speaking world. NzhiMjkyMmE5ZmRkOTY2OGYxNDkwMjcxNzlkOTdlNGVhZjcyNmNjYTg2Y2Yw I just read this i married an egyptian man in my country married 8 years sadly he died im now living in egypt and its really hard here not many speak good english also the culture is different my inlaws are terrible to me.life in egypt is a learning experience. OTM1NWUwMmRhNDBmNWQ0NTZhMzVhYmVhMGI3YTkxYzU2NTVlYzk4MGJhYmVk Marriage/relationships based on blind-folded passion alone starts with a limp and eventually keels over. *Even society act like women are not responsible for their actions. Theres also quite a lot of negativity toward other polytheistic religions (e.g. It's the term for 'beloved'. I've always had a bit of a thing for middle-eastern girls, particularly Lebanese, and I've heard Lebanon is the most liberal of the middle-eastern/muslim countries--do you know anything about this? and by the way not all the familes says no dating before engagements . They expected him to sit with my father and have "that talk" about his future intentions. Unfortunately I belong to a country where "5 years engagement" and "40 year old virgin" are not comedy movies, but they are sad facts. Interesting, in Nigeria we have same similar issues, most especially the northern part. When youre in love, its common to say things like youre dreaming of your significant other. Thats it, everyone! In the US Army and Marines, "Bubba" can mean a lazy soldier, similar to "grunt", but with connotations of endearment instead of derision (e.g., "Can . I have a Master's in Second Language Teaching and I teach Arabic as a foreign language here in the US, both MSA and Levantine Arabic. And most of the things you mention in the 12 lessons happens already in South Italy, and not only in the MENA Region. *If you have kids don't you ever think you can see them again if your wife wanted to punish you. Note: In Arabic speaking countries, children and young adults address elders who are not family as aunt and uncle to show respect. We must consider who we are and why we wish to marry a particular person: {Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honorable.} Really interesting, Donovan thank you for sharing. That would be equivalent to committing suicide. This post made me realize that it will be incredibly difficult to find an Egyptian girl who thinks anything like I do, and yet if I fake it with someone then I will be married to the same oppressive culture I escaped from in her family, entrenched in her mind, passed on to the children. Even though I'm from the Gulf I do find it a bit wierd and once I approached her about my views we ended up with a big fight and we don't talk anymore even though I'm trying to fix things. In the case of one of my closest friends, I knew her husband before they were married, and I could see it was a mistake even then. It was a heartbreaking end and one that neither of us wanted but in the end it wasnt our decision to make. Thanks for this inspiring, open hearted, and very nicely written story :). Even being an Egyptian doesn't help as much :D, I read your post and enjoyed every word of it, i am an Egyptian myself and as you have described, our society culture would sound strange to a stranger for the first time, i am glad it all worked out fine for all parties at the end. You can hear all four phrases being pronounced in order [1:51] romanticredhead 2 yr. ago. It was one of those songs that we all learned how to dance to as teenagers. Naturally this question only arises in our modern context in which Muslims and non-Muslims are in interaction; people fall in love, and they want to get married; and now they are asking: Why cant we? A late nighties classic pop song is Amarin by Amr Diab. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.} Finding your soul mate is a magical experience. -----END REPORT-----. ZjMyNzQ5ZThlNzZhNDdhY2NjZjAwNzhiMzk0ZThlOTRlY2I1ZWZkYTY3MTYz One aspect of this that strikes me as being very difficult is making a commitment before you even know whether you want to make a commitment, since you don't know the other person--very different from how things are done in the US or Australia. There is also the simpler way to say I was thinking about you or I have been thinking about you.. Literally: what is this moon! But on the other hand , Egyptian Youth don't get the chance to provide all the things needed for marriage , like the apartment and the gold etc. MY LOVE! dear friend i'm a girl from Egypt - Alexandria first sorry about that but you must know not all family's like this in our country You fell victim's family loves money There are a lot of families dont think in a civilized but not all families My brother is married from Romania and his wife work here in Egypt, in the opera, they very happy in life here We dont interfere in their private lives never she is also not a Muslim she's a Christian my brother Muslim and his wife Christian, but we did not say why marry a Christian! And unfortunately , the percentage od divorce in Egypt is 40% so even after you pay all this money and the deal of marriage is done IT MAY END WITH DIVORCE and you lose all you pay and their another hard time when you want to divorce because you may pass through legal problems in the court also if you have kids this is another problem . I don't know if it makes a sense.. need to ask u if this is really a big issue loving a Muslim girl? Learning new ways to tell people that you love and appreciate them can even introduce you to new modes of feeling and new layers of understanding to how other people and cultures experience the same universal feelings of love. In reality of course I wasnt any different from anyone else. OGNjN2FiNzA2ZjZlMmEwY2M0NGZkMWUwMWIzNWU5YzlkNGYwNzc2YmY2ZDhm its need a lot of effort and money to do it . Marwan: Me too, I love you so much, Menna! You've had me waiting for this post for months, if not longer. I have only obsessed over eastern culture (India, Middle East, Asia) through books and music, that's the only quantifiable knowledge I had of the east. Do I know him?! If they are not as committed as they are at the moment and they were to then marry someone from outside the faith then this will entail a lesser commitment at the household level. But his family wants me or rather wants my family to pay them dowry as their son has a good job and I am only a student at the moment. NDg3ZThhMjFlM2U0YWJjNDVlNmI0YTY1MzEwMTlmMzZiZGNiYjkyNGU2NWJk I understand his circumstance, but he has business ideas and goals for the future. Who will suck your wealth til you bleed shit. I am half Jordanian of Circassian descent and half American. YWE4ZmQzYTJiMDg5NGU0NmEyMzIxMmMzZDdiNjE4MTcwZTJhOGI3ZTU5YzNh I'm sorry that you had to deal with that bullshit man. References to the lethal spears of a beautiful woman's look abound in classical Arabic poetry and song. I am Egyptian, and I just been in love with just ONE girl from Egypt before and I really liked it so much, but you made it clear. My own experience is that Egypt is a miserable place for anyone who's out of the norm coming to Canada was like breathing for the first time. When we argue these friends are always in between trying to tell my bf he can do way better with an Arab or Caucasian gf and that he should forget about me because I'm an "inferior" race plus I'm not even Muslim. I love being different from her, and she loves being different from me. In fact, because of all the difficulties of getting married, lots of men resort to awful things like sexual harassment and porn addiction. MarHaba! I thought that when I move here in California that my family would learn to be liberal and open minded but that didnt happen; instead they arrange for me to get married right after I moved to California. Love your story, the video was heartfelt ..Im considering going Cairo to learn Arabic..hoping for a love story with a good ending. Terms of endearment are used for a variety of reasons, such as parents addressing their children and lovers addressing each other. The Ak and the Ik at the end are object pronouns to second person masculine, and second person feminine respectively. Hi Donovan, I really liked your article and your respectful way. In Egypt (and I suspect all over the Arab world) this is something that needs to be done right at the start when you start dating. I didn't see the other comments, so excuse me if this is a repeated question: Seriously, what did you like about Egypt?! We have promised to never let the negative and outdated traditions of my own country and her own country to get in the way of each other. I met a Moroccan girl online, we fell in love & now I want to marry her,But first I need to take the permission of her father for that.Problem is,I live in dubai & all this have to be done on telephone.Any suggestions on how would I approach to her father? So there are no real formalities involved with this. Hayatimeans my life in Arabic, which is what most couples say to each other to express just how far their love for each other reaches. You can even turn people's names into terms of endearment by adding a mi in front of their name! family is number 1 in middle east not the money and all what you mentioned in your story because her family want to be sure that the new family will not fail.every new project need money and a good people who you trust if you really care about the future.poor people and rich people get married nothing is related to how much you have its about how u are smart to manage yourself and take the responsibility of take are of your new family.you are already have my email feed me back if u like.till then good bye and good luck. Those moments I start speaking Russian to my husband :) And it's nice that he doesn't get it if I'm angry :D But I should say that marrying Egyptian man is much easier than marrying Egyptian lady. Even when we were having a fight, 'cause that could never have happened if I didn't know how to reply. daretelayam 2 yr. ago. We were then met with more conflict, when certain expectations were not met. The word can be found most often in Arabic songs about love and spoken in the Lebanese dialect. I ADORE Diamonds :P Well, seems like you didn't really enjoy that relationship. Lesson learned: Even in a country like Egypt where religion and family are number 1, possessions and status can still be a huge factor. Really interesting ! ! Again, it's all about who the family is, actually i think the older the parents are the more conservative and close minded they are, our generation at the moment, the new generation is a lot more understanding and "westernized" as you would say so we're very accepting, understanding and tolerant of anyone wether their religion, sexuality, race, nationality, financial situation or whatever. I say all this to emphasize how little I could be considered as a 'worldly' guy, multi-cultural, all those similar phrases. We sometimes call our oldest "quinoa" (calling him a fancy grain makes more sense when you know his name is Quinn). This one is a favorite of mine. There are assholes everywhere, but they do not define the culture of a society. Aamu and ammati (Aa-mu and Am-ma-ti) These mean uncle or auntie, and are to be used with people you're familiar with. Maybe it's how he follows you to the bathroom (and pounds on the door while you're trying to poop . Most Egyptians I grew up with and know are extremely westernized, open minded, well traveled and educated. mozza (): Sexy, babe. everyone wants to meddle in your life, as u said that you marry the family because they just don't want to let you believe that you're independent with their girl. I felt caught in the middle of two cultures, unable to explain to either side why there was so much hate and misunderstanding. My wife's family is Muslim. Lets take another example from the king of 90s pop, Amr Diab. is something not easy i get to know that only who have a true feeling, efforts. My hearts beloved (f), enough work today. It's so complicated and people there are so materialistic they only value u for what u have not what u r. I am fortunate enough to have a good life and decent career and future, but i don't wanna fell that any women is getting married to me because how good my salary is or how much gold i can give her. Egyptian blokes face almost the same obstacles you faced. He always kept talking about this.I will forward this post to him. If you describe yourself as having no religion, the reaction youll get varies from place to place and depending on who youre talking to but you can be guaranteed that it wont earn you any respect. Let me tell you something in poorer parts of world it can be just as much of a problem as it is in wealthier nations (sometimes much worse). Families will snatch the rug from under your feet and cut you off then give your woman to another man like she's just a person with no self awareness, opinion, ect.the lady has no rights at all, if she's 40 yes old, she's considered as a girl in the eyes of the family .. just beware, the family don't care how much money you have spent already, nor I'd you have bought the jewelry and she has it already. The light of their eyes. Unlike his mom, he's pretty open; he has been wanting to do an interfaith marriage since he doesn't believe in forcing me to convert to Islam but I know it will be difficult with his mom & the extended family. But the Arabic language is a beautiful language and you're lucky that you got to learn the Egyptian dialect as well. here in our culture arab girls dont date foreigners especially from the west, we only date our people which means arabs as well, i dont date any guy because i am still young and we dont date like dating in the west, our parents match us together and if we like each other then the wedding will be held, before we do "ta3aruf" which means knowing each other and im sure you know it, then after that we arrange the marriage and the mahr, the mahr depends on the daughter/the father and its not always the same , but maybe in egypt the mahr is too big and yeh i admit it , but it depends on the family, do u know why the mahr is big? [removed] TravelingPseudonym 9 yr. ago. He asked me questions about everything particularly finances. 7abibi 7abibti ( ): This is the most common term of endearment right across the Arabic-speaking world. on more thing! It would also mean that this has nothing to do with the looks of the person, but their inner beauty. Her family, much like mine and most US parents with 20-something kids, approached our marriage with the idea that - if you two are getting married, you must be prepared for it financially and be prepared for the independence that comes with that. And our family okay with it I guess just was you luck lol. That is expected. Her immediate family speaks both Arabic and English. The girl you were with was obviously from an extremely conservative family I'm assuming as it would've been much more flexible if she was going to an international university or from a more westernized social group in Egypt where dating is tolerated and everyone I know has had long term relationships without the need to meet the parents until you're serious (keep in mind that I'm actually still in college too). The opinions of pre-marital sex is present in all religions. These mean uncle or auntie, and are to be used with people you're familiar with. I am so sorry for us as we both really want to marry and just live our lives happily without all this extra drama and interference. But what do you suggest I wear when I am about to ask her father for a date? HAHA , bottom line Screw Egypt , screw dating and marriage -_- ! You were running through my mind. How Arabic Speakers Address their Family Members. I have always imagined this expression as someone melting in someone else. To hell with that! Just don't let them run your life. I got to know a girl who worked with Egypt Air. At her wedding she cried her eyes out while her family took pictures. I said no, so that is why he is coming to America. It means 'chubby one' or 'fatty' and is used in a friendly, loving way. OWY0NmNlZDlkZWRlMmVkNmE0NGE1YTNhMWE1YmVjN2I1YzYwMGJkODlmYjgw When I went home to Australia we maintained contact via Skype and telephone several times a day for a whole year. My nearest experience is a relationship with an egyptian man( Tarik Yusuf/ Tarik U-suf), I'm from Colombia, we had been talking for almost a year, everything started in linkedin, as he wanted to be in contact with me and I did not see any problem as he has the same career than me and has similar professional intertest. There's definitely more to language than just the dictionary definitions of the words! I also wrote about why Arabic is nowhere near as difficult as people say it is here. At first, we went out as friends. Terms of Endearment for Anyone 11. if you reverse it , an Arabic guy with non-arabic woman , it will be very easy for him to do all theses stuffs . Please check your inbox for your confirmation email. :( Egyptian wives are so committed to family and have great values . I have a Lebanese Catholic acquaintance born and raised like my bf here in the West married to a Filipino womanhe told me he has a bad relationship with his mom for marrying the Filipino lady.but they seem happy & they've been married for 8 years now and have 3 children His family has never been to Lebanon to meet the rest of the family on his side though. Sad to know your girlfriend family and dad could not have been patient and waited til you came back within a year. and there are many places you can be alone at on a date, this romantic spot on the nile you went to is the most unromantic place anyone could ever go to! For example, Hajji Ahmed or Hajja Fatima. So the acceptance goes both ways; it certainly is not only seen coming from the Middle Eastern side of the equation. She later embraced Islam before their wedding. Its a very beautiful saying that implies that someone is very dear to you and whose parent was/is as well. Also, keep in mind that Egyptian girls will get married off to Egyptian guys only because there's a lot of them. YmJjNzBiZGIzZjVmNjAxNTQyMjIyYTBkYmZiZmI0NTkyZTg1Njg4MzZjNzk0 Now that we are engaged, everyone is so happy! NmZhZjU0NzlmZjViNzBlZTRiM2NmNzdkNDExM2FjOTg5MjRhNGMzYmJkYTJj Both terms also carry weight spiritually, with Muslims encouraged to call fellow adherents brother or sister. In day to day conversations, your best friend is your habibi, the friendly cashier at the store is your habibi, it is very lax in usage. Good luck next time. Anyway, who knows what is the best for you!! Ya Amar ( ) And yes in Egypt they are very conservative only because it's an Islamic countries; some Christians are forced to be covered in clothe because of their religion but as far as no sex before marriage, so that is because we follow the bible rules! Privacy Policy. Itd be an opportunity to make a verbal contract of sorts between the father and myself. Lesson learned: Being in a relationship with someone who doesnt speak your language really teaches you a lot about properly expressing yourself in their tongue. I stumbled across your blog and I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. I am of Asian descent(Laotion) . When it comes to learning family members in Arabic from Arabic textbooks, you usually find a family tree showing mother, father, sister, etc. The honorific "ji" is sometimes added as a suffix to create the double honorific "babuji", which in northern and eastern parts of India is a term of respect . Its about the union of two families and this includes all the extended relatives as well. On the other hand, if people are not so connected to the faith, such that they can easily fall in love with somebody else; they find this to be welcome and possible, well then if they want to marry outside of the faith then they have to be aware of the consequences. Another thing to be said is what you've noticed is completely the opposite of the Islamic instructions , Islam instructs people to get married as a young , and not to look to the wealth or beauty , It's ironic that early muslims used dates as dowry while now even lots of gold wouldn't be enough . This is an interesting one and can give you an idea about how the concept of beauty is understood in Arabic even when it comes to the same exact word describing a man or a woman. and I can tell that from the way you talk about your girl and how respectful you were to her traditions.. Did she call you batta hhh , its like calling you (sweetie) so don't worry she loved you! If the man does not wish to raise his children as Christians/Jews, or does not care much about religion one way or the other, then she might ask herself why she would marry someone like that, unless of course, she is of the same mind. I went to india for few weeks and the marriage was made there and I must say that it works a similar way in India as u said it is in Egyptespecially when it comes to privacy :D And yes its very irritating to hear all people around u talking abt how the love of ur life is in fact just trying to use uI stopped talking to many people around me bcs of this but I dont regret itthats lifeI lost some people but I gained a great husband :) Thank u again for nice article I really enjoyed reading it. You dont have to be a medical professional to be a doctor in the Arab world. I'm married to Egyptian man for 2 years now. Now, this one is deeply entrenched in informal contemporary culture. I spoke English and my boyfriend didn't have even one word of Arabic. Those are mostly rhetorical questions, but it turns out there's a somewhat scientific reason why people use terms of endearment to speak to their loved ones. Mon trsor 14. I believe Egyptian men became very weak and not strong enough to marry or handle an Egyptian woman! I was never baptized and was raised without religion; though it was always "known" that we were Methodist should anyone ever ask. Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading more from you. Wow. You think youre going to take an Egyptian girl on a nice, quiet date somewhere and be left alone? Dude, i feel very sorry for you man. I'm Arab and Muslim not from Egypt but my bF is we have baby and not married . Lesson learned: Egypt is very conservative even though rules are often broken. As an Arabic learner, you most likely wont be addressing your family in Arabic, but its good to be familiar with how native Arabic speakers address their families so you can better comprehend their speech. This actually may drive away any foreign fella I might set my eyes on after reading it :'D you know, for the "citizenship" and so.. :P buuuuut, not all the Egyptian girls like Gold btw! I liked the whole story of how you almost married an Egyptian girl. My hearts beloved, Take a look at this early 2000s song by Raninn called Habib Albi. Being a marine Engineer, I've travelled for a while, studied and lived in the UK, and yes reached the conclusion that we are a very throttled society with no privacy . like your favorite movie,song, tv show from your childhood. When uncle Bassam and aunt Sarah get here. What makes a great difference though is the social background. Haha, it's really easy to not take into consideration one's culture. These two words can be used pretty much interchangeably. Thing is, it differs a bit depending on social class, but it's more of a business deal rather than a marriage. He was getting married to his Egyptian girlfriend of two []. Thanx read it all and u guys are mistaken about the way its put across.In Islam we have a standard and will not drop that standard to suite any one from any place in the world . That was that but what I really wanted to ask was that I met this Iraqi girl at work and I fell in love with her. Mon loulou / Ma louloute 22. I think you have already got the gist, right? You're right about the materialistic aspect, but I will also say that it works the same way the Western world does: new money is flashy, while old money would likely appreciate things and play down their luck (for fear of the evil eye, etc). Hearing about the cultural differences and challenges they face has really made me reflect a lot on what I learned from almost getting married to a girl while I was living in Egypt a girl who didnt speak any English. Lesson learned: Egyptian women are high maintenance Be prepared to shower them with expensive gifts. Ghali or Ghalia literally means expensive but in this context, it means the precious one. Well I am Egyptian female married to an American who does not know a word in Arabic We have been married for almost 9 years. 7abibi is also frequently used between friends, members of the family or young children. It simply means my love or my darling. I remember sitting in an Egyptian coffee shop once trying to come up with some lovey-dovey stuff to put in this letter for her and having the young Egyptian waiters teach me poetry to make it sound more romantic. This meant everything about my mother and father, what they do and whether or not theyre together, as well as the extent of my religious commitment. -----BEGIN REPORT----- I hate them. Finally!!!! And i dated girls in both Damascus and Beirut when i was student, from other sects they where fine with my religious views, am not saying the levant is Europe but things are much better in matters of accepting the others, maybe because we have many religions other than muslims/christians thing (like alawit,murshedi, doroze,etc). NTBiNzRiNTIyYzU0ZmFhODUzMDQ2YTEwZjkwYTQwMDJhZDJlYTIzNTc0MmFk As Florida State University neuroanthropologist Professor Dean Falk explained to Broadly , baby talk plays an important role in language acquisition for infants, especially in terms of mother-child bonding. After all the years you've been married, it's a fine thing to keep calling your wife all those pet names. This popular one in Spanish . The conflicts have died. Im not sure how somebody else with no ties to an Arabic-speaking community could get around this. Amr Diab describes his lovers eyes as two moons. I was involved with a Hindu Indian girl over the summer and the mutated turds who pass for parents over there, animalized her as soon as they found out I'm "Muslim." Share it in the comments section below! You can make money, but you can't make people!