Funny Dirty Jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? However, the seamen from the boat manage to swim away, almost reaching the shore. my wife?? Because he wasnt peeling well! If your heart is as soft as your boob, then youll find it in your to forgive me. To which the woman replied, if your boomstick is as hard as your elbow, youll find me in room 318., #15. We sincerely hope youve had a wild one reading this article. A: So they could learn how to stop at 11! A fast food employee dropped my burger patty on the floor before serving it to me. Queso! Do you have a funny joke about dirty that you would like to share? These fruit puns are berry funny! How do you catch a cheetah? The old man replies, "No arthritis" Roses are red, pickles are green, I like your legs and what's in between! All posts may contain affiliate links. Are you a cherry? People may find dirty jokes shocking or disgusting, but no one can deny they're funny as hell! Click here for full disclosure policy. Do you know a funny one liner? Good thymes. To get a date. Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. Eating Jokes #33 - 30. I feel completely drained now. They are both enemies of pussies, #34. My boyfriend said he didnt have a date that same day I caught him eating one. To get laid. I should stop telling fast-food jokes. ?Butler: No, the babysitter did.Dad: ok how much more money do you want?, Related Post: 101 Most Upvoted Deez Nuts Jokes of All-Time, What is the scientific/medical name for Viagra?Mycoxaflopin. Whos there? I saw my wife, very drunk, yelling at the television. The doctor prescribes viagra, but the mom states that the dad will not take the pill. I like my woman like how I like my watermelon - sweet and juicy. I would like a burger., Omitting 1 little letter in a text message can ruin a marriage. Then I walked home and the signs were all there again. Knock, knock! #2. When they are all settled in their seats, an old lady across leans towards the man and asks, are they all your kids? The man replied, I work for a condom production company and these here are customer complaints., #19. Grandpa pulls out a cigarette and the conversation continues like this: Little Johnny: Can I have a puff, grandpa? In queso emergency. I regret buying shoes from a drug dealer. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Nacho cheese! That is why we had to share our favorite absurd dirty lines that you do not want to use anytime soon. Dad said that participation trophies shouldnt exist. Up until I bought this bag of chips I thought the air was free. Warning: these food jokes are not for the faint hearted. Wanna take the joke a little far? The entire call center, and usually theyre yelling gibberish while they do it. 60 Funny Pumpkin Jokes (Youll Surely FALL in love! Smoking will kill you Bacon will kill you But, smoking bacon will cure it. Wanna strip?" Blueberry Jokes. What kind of vegetable is known for spoiling? A cherry float. Whats the difference between a set of used car tires and 365 used condoms? He forgot to wrap his whopper. They don't like fast food. Whats the best food when youre so hungry you could eat a house? Pasta who? I wish you were her.. Time flies like an arrow. We share them in our weekly newsletter. Baby, you got more legs than a bucket of KFC! #26. They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. Add a chilly pepper. Cause I want you to suck my Twinkie. Queso mistaken identity. Thats unusual for me because I usually use paper tissues because its cheaper. Nacho. F*cks funny. I have been tripping all day. The Best Tool To Remove Vocals From Your Favorite Music Tracks. Knock, knock! I have both at my place. I can give you a good show tonight. mi tief three chocolate bars. What is a cannibals favorite restaurant? Xavier fork for dessert. A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. My pizza jokes can't be topped! One will make your day, the other will make your hole weak (whole week). A few minutes later. See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. A cannibal family eats dinner together. What did the pirate say when he dropped his fast food order? Because I want to pop you tonight. A dictator. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. I want you more then a Hagen-Daas on a hot summer day. Treat yourself with our yummy and delicious jokes that will leave you hungry for more. Well, it means your parents started the year with a bang. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. They dont get assholes til theyre married. 82.53 % / 2443 votes. Youre going to want to know these funny and dirty food jokes! Whos there? Who's There? On the second day of fishing. Luckily only one, but it also takes them six weeks and forty trips to the store before it gets changed. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely cant look down. One was a goodyear, the other was a fantastic year! My wife was upset that I have no sense of direction. : can your dick touch your asshole? The dirtiest food jokes. What does it do before it rains candy? Because I wanna scramble your insides. Broccoli Jokes. Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies? 15+ Cheeky and Corny Love Jokes you can laugh with him and her! Whos there? Bon appetite! Told him I was horrified by his wonton destruction. Whats the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds? Molly is a writer and collage artist with a PhD in film and cultural studies from the University of Pittsburgh. After they have a very frank relationship! He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. I want to take you out and eat you in my car. Everytime I eat fast food I can talk to dead people Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Turkey. "I'm a talking . Dont forget to bookmark these vegetable puns for future laughs! The first one is that someone said Im a better cook than youDad: Who said that?Butler: Your wife.Dad: hmmmButler: The second reason is that I make love better than youDad: and who said that?? The son asks the father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?". Cottage cheese, wall nuts, and kitchen sink cookies. Whos there? If you love to read more jokes, check out these funny jokes for adults. Why not! (Why?) Food jokes got you craving corn? The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem" Zac. Thats the worst part. Man, the steaks were high on that one. How do you like your sausage in the morning grilled or blown? What is the Wikipedia definition for a donut? Eating Jokes #29 - 20. An appreciation of food is universal, which makes it the perfect resource for abundant corny puns and dad jokes that everyone can relate to. Chicken eggs are a work of perfection. Knock, knock! The man signs and says, this is boring. Because when I put my cucumber in, I pull out a pickle instead. You tie him to a post! Why do the French eat snails? Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers? My girlfriend said she was going to get a colonic. A: Meet patty (meat patty) Q: Why did the Hobbit get a job at Burger King? Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour. Why couldnt the sesame seed leave the casino? Whats the best part of Valentines Day? Just burned 2,000 calories. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. Whos there? Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. Not saying I live in a rough area but just bought an advent calendar and half the windows are boarded up! Just burned 2,000 calories. Are you a termite? Do you like Pizza Hut? Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? The mother told him that he would get it after his chores were done. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide . My son just asked, Can I have a bookmark? I burst into tears, my son is eleven years old and he still thinks my name is Mark! Gurl, you remind me of a box of chocolates..(Why?) Know what a 6.9 is? SPARERIBS. Sleet, Im starving! One sperm asked the other how far till we reach the fallopian tubes? The other replied, No sure but we just passed the esophagus., #9. I guess that Ill have to relocate it now. Every single wound he touched closed up. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. Funny turkey jokes are the perfect way to make everyone at the table laugh. Whos there? We recommend our users to update the browser. According to news reports, "A young boy is supposed to ask Pete about his accomplishments in baseball." 2023 Inspirationfeed. More jokes about: food, god, school, teacher. fast food restaurant puns fast food name puns fast food dirty puns fast food chain puns fast food related puns. I was addicted to the hokey pokeybut I turned myself around. so I ate a sloth. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); However, did you know that it could be the source of a lot of humor? Hey you thirsty, cause I can give you the Sunny-D I like my women, like I like my ice cream, fat free and dripping down my fingers I have a bunch of Klondike bars back at my place. If youre on the prowl for more food joke romance, check out these 15 punny food pick-up lines that guarantee a chuckle. When can a pizza marry a hot dog? Your name must be Coca Cola, because you're so-da-licious . Knock, knock! What name do you give to a country where everyone is pissed off-urination. When a cannibal has fast food he gets Are you my new boss? What are the 4 major food groups? Why did the banana go to the doctor? Well, it never premiered. Turkey who? Thought that was good? Baby if you were a burger at McDonalds you would be a McGorgeous. Good stuff, right? Get ready: Some of what's to come is quite punny. Why did the tomato blush? Keep up with Mlanie on Instagram, Twitter and melanieberliet.com. The teacher comes back and says, "Hey! Click here to learn more! We waddled through the web to find as many solidly silly but entirely wholesome duck puns and jokes as possible. Girl, better eat the hot dog fast because it wets your buns. Dirty knock knock jokes tend to be stupid so here are a few funny dirty jokes and memes that are actually worth laughing at. Burrito Jokes. Whos there? A tasty selection of funny food jokes for you to sink your teeth into! There is no menu: You get what you deserve. This funny collection of friendly and delicious jokes, riddles, pick up lines and puns about food are clean and safe for everyone. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! If it was called mom jokes, they would have a chance of being actually funny. Spice things up with our fast food jokes! If you enjoy arguing about lunches at 6 AM I cant recommend parenting highly enough. ), 61 HILARIOUS Sydney Jokes That Aussies Will Love. Ones that call for squashes and whipped cream. Please sign up with your best email address. The Mostly Simple Life is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com, Copyright 2023 The (mostly) Simple Life, 101 Most Upvoted Deez Nuts Jokes of All-Time, New Month, New Goals: 5 Easy Ideas for a Fantastic Month, 8 Exciting Couple Goals to Light Up Your Relationship, 5 Easy Tips to Have a Bubbly Personality People Will Love, Left Hand Itching Means Something Is Coming Your Way: Interesting Facts About this Superstition, 110 Simple Life Quotes to Inspire You to a Simple & Happy Life, 101+ Long-Term Goals For a Successful Career & Life, How to Make Birthdays Special When Youre Broke (50 Cheap Birthday Ideas), Budget Grocery List: $50 a Week for Two Adults, 51 Great Goals to Set to Change Your Life. So next time youre in the mood for a good laugh, check out some of these jokes about food. A drug dealer cant. A family is at the dinner table. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. Orange who? So he would have sweet dreams! It was at that moment he decided not to visit Thailand again. 43 Funny Star Trek Jokes That Will Make You Love Klingons. The narcissist holds the light bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him. Me: No, but Ill arm wrestle you for the bill. Your cupcakes make my souffle's rise. We use cookies and other tracking technologies to improve your browsing experience on our website, to show you personalized content and targeted ads, to analyze our website traffic, and to understand where our visitors are coming from. Laugh hard and avo good day! Required fields are marked *. Babe are you a donut? Well, scare the shit outta them. You will definitely dream about your next meal because of this. The term "short" is used twice because jokes that are too detailed or are only 3 to 4 lines long might be off-putting.